Look out Martha Stewart
It was last May, as I tossed strawberry remnants into the garbage when the familiar thought “hey, I should start composting” ran through my mind.  Instead of ignoring it again, I pictured myself in cute gardening gloves, spreading my own organic dirt, and admiring my flower prowess… And with those rose-colored glasses on, I drove to the City of Port Moody Works Yard to get my composter.

An IKEA moment that lasts all weekend.
Oops.  Brought the wrong car…apparently, the Earth Machine doesn’t fit in my trunk.  Oh well…my husband can pick it up later.  And install it… since I couldn’t actually get the bin (with less than 8 parts) set up correctly.  I’m sure the rest of composting will go much smoother.  By end of the weekend, I (meaning Paul) have hidden it behind the kid’s playhouse in the backyard, because despite the Home Composting Handbook’s big bold recommendation to keep it close to the house for convenience, I know better.  I’ve also shopped for the inside compost pail, with the shiny metal counter pail surprisingly losing out to the green plastic one that I can also keep obscured.

What do you mean I can’t put peanut-butter sandwich crusts in there?
With 2 kids under 4, that’s probably ½ of what I’d like to compost.  What kind of rule is “anything from the earth can go back to the earth?”  Aren’t peanuts from the earth?  One friend says anything without sauce is fine.  Another says you can even add meat if you don’t mind bears and racoons visiting your yard.  I stick to my Dummies Guide for Composting which recommends “Kitchen Greens & Browns” and “Yard Greens & Browns”. Hmmm….

It’s your turn to take it out!
Despite advice to take the pail out every few days, my husband & I discreetly try to jam that last banana peel in when the other person is not looking just so we don’t have to be the person to visit the Earth Machine.  We’ve made it as long as 12 days by crushing down the veggies at the bottom until they are pretty much liquid, and holding our noses as we walk by.  We now use the charcoal filters and biodegradable bags, making the chore considerably simpler, although I still frequently lose the arm-wrestle over who has to take the bag out.

Fruit flies?  Seriously?
Yep, after 12 days, the odor of decaying fruit wafts through the kitchen.  As do the fruit flies.  They also decide to make the Earth Machine home as well.  Despite my dad’s advice, I balk at the prospect of red wiggler worms; I simply add more dirt outdoors, and vow to get my husband to empty out the internal pail more frequently.  And he needs to get some more charcoal filters too.

Sub-zero temperatures get rid of the fruit flies. And the ability to open my composter.
When December hits, I brave the elements and shuffle in my pink fluffy slippers over to the outdoor composter, where I chisel valiantly for several minutes to crack the ice around the latch to open the lid, and then I toss my green bag of material onto a really large block of frozen vegetables in my Earth Machine.  There is A LOT of chiselling between December and March this year.

Bottom line: I’m keeping up with the Green’s in the neighbourhood.
Even my 22 month old knows to put her apple remnants in the “compitoster”…Now I just have to wait until the oldest turns five…surely taking out the compost can be her 1st assigned chore.  I used to have 2 full garbage cans at the curb-side for pickup on Monday mornings.  Since I’ve started my adventures in composting, I’m down to ¾ of a bin, so despite my occasional griping (and learning to follow the “rules”) I’m pleased with the outcome.  And even more pleased that my city is introducing organic waste curb-side pickup starting this July.  Yippee!